KEITH ROSCOE'S DIARY OF 2007 SEASON

Hi Folks

Sun 22 April
Start of new season.Sun shinning bloody cold though.Rishton at home with their pro
Saeed Anwar junior.Should really beat them.We've got a Sri Lankan,don't know what he is called,batter by all accounts we'll see!
10pm. We're in the shit.Lost to RISHTON, WE COULD FINISH BOTTOM AT THIS RATE(What a load of bollocks ) Danny and Chris both got 50s batted really well.Sealy got 30odd and Afi double figures,the rest of us about a dozen between us.Kulatunga got 1,and he didn't ball they knocked the runs off with 2 wkts down.(rubbish!!!!!)
Sat 28 April
Tod at home yet another Sri Lankan sub pro.Rideegammanagedeera batter I think.We have to win this one or we will finish bottom.
10.30pm Bollocks lost again Rammalammadingdong scored 17 but bowled well.We got 2 points could be bottom.Sanjay come quick.
Sun 29 April
Lowerhouse away.Feel very optimistic we've got Shane Harwood,he can bat and bowl looking forward to him putting the Lowerhouse batting on the rack.Although their sub pro Ryan Harris is supposed to be no slouch.
Mon 30 April
Couldn't be arsed writing anything last night got mullered.When you think things couldn't get any worse, we've just had the biggest pasting I can ever remember.317 shoved up us.I went for over a ton.Sealy went at over 7s.Then 157 all out embarrassing.Surely can't get any worse.Sanjay where are you!
Sat May 5
We have secured the services of ex-England All rounder C.C.Lewis.My optimism beginning to wane.Church away we need to win or definitely go bottom.
11pm Yippee won a do.Chris Lewis superb.Sealy 5fer,Chris Lewis 50 n.o.and Sealy 28n.o.Church 110 all out we knocked 'em for 3 down.Sealy not impressed with CCLs 3 series Yreg  BMW coupe,said He would rather "Ride to the game on the Bus".
Sun 6
Colne Casuals today another Sri Lankan sub pro ex Hassy pro Wanasinghe.
10.30pm We got 21 overs in 126 for 2 pissed it down.At this rate my liver's going to be pickled in cider.Another batting failure for the pro he got 9.
Sat 12
Casuals again replay sods law Chris got 60 the week before wants the odds he doesn't get double figures.Oh Sanjay Bangar makes his long awaited debut.
Sun 13
Hammered the Casuals Paynie got 6fer.Sanjay 3 fer Casuals 171all out.We got them with 5 down Danny B 81,Paynie 31.Chris 16.BUT WE WON .Sanjay Bangar what a nice chap.
Away to Enfield today they are up near the top so bring it on.Got them 83 for 5and it rained again.What has happened to the weather.Bollocks off to the pub sod it.
Sat 19
Rammy at home forecast not too clever,supposed to get better in the afternoon,we'll see.
Got on at 4pm we were bowling 29 over game all of us got pogoed,201 in 29 overs.We got nowhere near 114 for 8 Sealy got 40odd.Worrying thing Sanjay not firing with the bat.
Sun 20 Worsley cup
 Casuals at home we should be looking at the 2nd round.
Mon 21
Early finish yesterday 97 all out Greg Mail 6-17 we must be the laughing stock of the league.They knocked them off in 12 overs we were in the bar at 3.30 .Home and pissed at 9pm
absolute rubbish,threw our wickets away.
Sun 27
Burnley away probably the best team man for man in the league.A welcome return of the "Boy Roscoe " to the firsts.Could be an expensive day for my wallet with us both sharing at it!
Chrissy boy scores maiden ton, Sanjay 27,Paynie 24and two crucial wickets and a win.Benny Law becomes my super rabbit taking over from Matt O'Connor.
Sat 02 June
Visit from Matthew Peter Mott and wife Taryn.How good to see him,the lads were in good spirits and communal drinking took place all day as the 2s lost to Rammy in the Junior Cup.The day ended with a load of us having supper at the local Italian
Sun 03 June
Accy at home get shut of Shetty early and you take all the points easy!
The Bugger got 150 odd and we lost that's the second time in as many seasons. Can he not score runs against any bugger else?MOTTY LEFT THE GROUND TO RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE.
Just goes to show how much he is still appreciated at R'stall.
Sun 10 June
East Lancs away need to beat the old men of the league to put our season back on track.
I don't believe it 225 batting first Chris 86,Paynie 62,and they knock them off,or their pro did,best bit of Oneupmanship I've seen for a long time.Stewart must have been related to Terry-Thomas that well known cad from the School for Scoundrels.I AM SEETHING,don't get mad get even.Bloody robbed.
Sat 16 June
Still mad about last week so are the lads.Watch out Enfield backlash time.
They got it .We were ruthless a fine 50 from DannyB set us on our way.Bowling and fielding top class comfortable win.Bacup tomorrow lets make it a clean sweep!
Sun 17 June
Big game today imperative we win.Weather not the best said it was going to brighten up after lunch.
Weather report was at least right.The better the day got the worse our performance got.Did the bowling and fielding bit well Bacup all out for 106.The batting was beyond embarrassing we were being laughed at walking off the field utter capitulation 76 all out.Dumbstruck.Another early finish so I stayed at Bacup and took the stick ,you've got to.Can we perform any worse with the bat I think not.
Sun 24 June
Hassy at home.Reptiles must have felt at home it rained after 14 overs.On the lash again!Oh my poor internal organs.
Sat 30 June
When I wrote our batting could not plummet any lower last night in the twenty20 it did 47 all out.Nelson at home today but it's pissing down again so no chance of being embarrassed with the bat goodo.Let us pray for better times in July and the rest of the season.'Cos this weather is causing accute pressure on the liver and the wallet.

Sunday July 8
Rammy away today,its raining again.Weatherman said its supposed to brighten
up this aft,we'll see.Can't really say I fancy it.Wet wicket , probably in for another hiding.
Monday July 9
Well bugger me we've give'em a right tatering.Only match to be completed.We got
121'Sanjay a magnificent 63, on a pig of a wicket and nobbed them out for 57,
Sanjay 6fer spit, bowling off spin.Oh comment of the day, Sanjay ran Sealy out
and we were 11for 4.On his way up the Pavilion steps he was heard to say "Send
the **** home!".Then Sanjay goes and wins the game for us .Nice one Sealy can you
abuse him next game as well!
Sat 14
Re-arranged game against the reptiles weather fine, well when I say fine its not raining
yet!
Whoa woo reptiles got a pogoing by 52 runs Sanjay another 50 and 5fer.No stopping
him now even without Seal abuse.Looking forward to the game against Church tomorrow.
Sun 15
Its pissing down ,no real hope of play before 3pm, live in hope though.
Not a hope in hell absolutely gutted, pissed and leaking money like a broken piss-pot.
How much cider can a middle-aged man drink before needing AA or George Bests'
good liver!
Sat 21
Its raining again.Enfield at home as well,bollocks.
Sun 21
Casuals away,its been raining lets think positively about today.Greg Mail good batter
the rest are hit and miss.
Result beat the Casuals by 7 wickets.Sanjay slipping a bit only 43 and 4fer.Good win
though. Thats 3 or 5 games unbeaten including the no results.Big test next week Burnley
at home.
Sun 29
Looks promising big yellow thing in the sky.Need to win to knock Burnley out of the title race.
We did it ,close mind 22runs.Sanjay again 62 and 6fer.They must be sick of the sight of us twice
they've been in the box seat only to be strangled.
Sat 4 Aug
Its Shetty time if we get him early we win.If he gets a ton we will still win,if he gets 150,well
then its going to be close.
Didn't matter weather won again.The game was a little fractious to say the least.Anyway still unbeaten.
Sun 12
East Lancs at home.All the lads are up for this one,revenge time!
'Ave it Stewart bowled on yer bike son.Paynie(119) and Sanjay(64)hammered their attack, which included
Ian Haworth,I'm sure he's as old as my Dad! 5 straight wins.
Sat 18
Pissing down say no more Tod away.Some good ale houses in Tod,thats it.
Sun 19
Bacup at home,ever game a cup final,must win for both of us.Oh its the Boys birthday today.
(I'll just give him money)
Mon 20
Bugger me we beat them Damo and Paynie and Sanjay all heroes.Down and out not a price
at 135for 7.Did we have a sherbert or 2,3,4,5,6,7 last night.Rough as an owd clog today but its
worth it off to throw up again!
Sat 25
Got to keep winning.Nelson at home.
7 wins on the bounce Nelson dispatched.Now we are only 17 points behind Rishton.
Sun 26
Reptiles away,we're goin Gator baitin.
Like St.Patrick in Ireland the reptiles were banished by Sanjay the Great.WHAT AN INNINGS.
The gap is only 7 points now.
Sat 1 Sept
Nelson away nothing less than 12 will do.
Won again but it honestly felt like we had lost.We were very flat why is a mystery.
We need the weather to be kind forcast not good.
Sun 2
Its raining again what a load of shite.Totally cheesed off.
No good need Lowerhouse to beat Rishton on Sat as we have no game.
9 unbeaten we could equal the club record of ten,small consolation though.
Sat 8
Rishton are Champs beat Lowerhouse,up to us to stuff 'em tomorrow and prove
that we are currently the best team in the league.
Sun 9
I'm up for it today.Jules had a look of glee on her face,soon turned to a frown
when I said I meant the cricket. Let's show them who's the Daddy.
Mon 10
They got it big time,hammered,outplayed and certainly outclassed.
Recovering having the day off.Great night in the club real party atmosphere.
Sad to see Sanjay go what a belting chap.Also sad to see JD leave the fold
joining the Army he will be missed, not only on the field but off it,tireless
clubman,Iwish him all the best.
Thats it second won ten ,undefeated since Sunday 17 June and the best
team in the league.Sanjay hopes he'll be back and so do I.

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